Sixty Days of Awesome

It has been a hell of a month.  From the major work trade show to side projects that had a challenge hidden around every corner and in every divet to, cue horrible sound effects, finals week, I feel like I am doing everything I can just to make it through April in the upright position.

While SAS was the hardest part for me diet-wise and threw my body and skin for a total loop, I have struggled to get back in line.  And I feel it -- I feel gross, I'm bloated (this week in particular, but I digress), I can't maintain the ultra-low to no dose of my blood sugar medication I could when I was on a strict whole9 diet, and I'm certainly not achieving my goals or really even putting myself in a place to effectively and efficiently recover from workouts. 

We are just about 5 months out from SuperFit (Cynthia and I started practice last week.  I have programmed one WOD so far and it was fun, plus we got a bonus practice in last Friday when a torrential downpour turned the regular WOD in to a partner one) and I have a goal of being able to do two cycles in my gym's competitor's program before then, with an eye towards doing an individual competition later this year.  My strength levels are pretty much on par for women's RX -- it is the body weight movements that are holding me back.  Pull-ups, ring dips, and that elusive hand-stand pushup (even the THOUGHT of kicking up in to an inversion freaks me out).  I have a few push-ups and some inconsistent double-unders, but I know those will come with a little bit of consistent practice -- after I am finished with finals, I am going to start dedicating a block of time a day for these suckers.  The weird thing is based on my band assistance, if I were at my goal weight I would have many of these movements -- so it is just the challenge to keep increasing my strength and decreasing my weight, and eventually I'll be doing like 25# weighted pull-ups, right?

Oh, and I'm running a 5k in 30 days.

Anyway, not that I'm done whining about not being where I want to be... my birthday is a month from today. *throws confetti*  Last year I gave myself the present of an Olympic Weightlifting Technique Course.  If you are in the DC area, I can not say enough good things about this class with Olympian Cara Heads of CH Fitness and Performance*.  I was lucky enough to learn the lifts at this clinic - we hadn't even touched on them in any of the Foundations classes I'd been to - so while I am always working, I don't have any awful bad habits to break.

Katie Hogan.

So this year, with my birthday on the horizon, when Cynthia pointed out to me that Katie Hogan, an elite competitive Crossfitter who I always joke I want to be, was coming to Crossfit Annandale for a seminar.... hi, sign me up.  This is also the day after the Whole9 seminar at my home gym, so it will be a busy (expensive) weekend full of good food and training.

I don't spend money on training to waste my time and waste the effort.  I want to have at least the framework for skills in place so I can work on maximum efficiency, not just watch.

Are there (countless) obstacles between here and there?  Absolutely!  But I'm done with "I just want to eat this before I start again".  I have done a Whole30 and a Whole60.  I know what it feels like.  I don't need that pinpoint compliance again at this point, but I do have to be "good enough".  And I know what that means for me: zero gluten.  zero legumes.  even gluten-free grains are spotty, so those are reserved for truly special occassions.  Dairy is okay -- a splash of heavy cream in my coffee, grassfed cheese on my burger or in my eggs.  Ice cream is not dairy -- it is a sweet, and a treat, and on top of that it's one that makes my stomach unhappy.  A little bit of fruit digests okay... but I feel better without it.  Whey may be the lazy woman's post-workout, but it is absolutely better than nothing and personal opinion is that while it may not be optimal, it comes close enough to the results of real food to be acceptable - I honestly cannot tell a difference.

There is a fine line between living your life and overliving your life.  I know I have, and I feel like it's relatively common, gone hot and cold between Whole30 compliance and wheels-off crap eating.  I am struggling for a balance, a balance that lets me have a drink with friends but still enjoy performance in the gym.  I have to realize that not having a treat isn't depriving myself -- it is treating myself, because it is treating myself the way I deserve.  A bowl of pasta has emotional and physical implications for me and it sucks because it's just food, right?  If only it were that easy.  I've never had an eating disorder, but on some level I am still rehabbing a disordered relationship with food.  It is fuel.  It can be fuel I enjoy, fuel I share with friends... but it isn't something that controls me.

60 days between here and there.  In between, I have events and I have life -- I have my birthday, and my cousin's wedding, just to name a few.  I have made huge gains (and losses!) in the past year, but that is just the start.  I know that it may take a little time, but I am good enough to acheive my goals.  I am naturally strong -- and I don't know because I haven't struggled with the flip side, but I think that is the bigger battle.  I KNOW skills will come with practice -- that's why they're called skills.  Sure some things come slow -- because what things worth having every came easy?  A derailment isn't the end -- it's just the beginning.

-b

*full disclaimer: I now work with Cara as a clinic and communications manager.  But I trained with her before that, I train with her now, and I will recommend her as a coach forever.

I am a blog slacker.

Work is kicking me around, and school is taking over what's left.  I spent like 2 weeks trying to give up caffeine but today I decided I have to sideline it until after our trade show.

Also my T-spine is a wreck from something this week.  When I finish this discussion forum I need to get on the foam roller.  And you know, do laundry, etc.

I am trying for a week of CFSA-nutrition-program strict this week before I have to move to the hotel for work next Sunday.  At the very least, I need 5 days.  I love working shows, but I know it will wreck havoc on my eating.

In other exciting news, I bought a new blender ball and my voodoo x bands came in.  I love/hate my ankles.  I love/hate my ankles....

In less than 2 weeks this show will be over.  In a month (+/- depending on how much ass-hauling I do) school will be over and I

Goals this week aren't all related to Crossfit.

1) Get caught up in my homeland security law class.  This means doing a short assignment every day this week.  Need to prioritize if I want to
2) Don't buy any more food.  Going to be at a hotel for 4 days = eat what you have.  Plan ahead and put a meal for the day I get back in the freezer.
3) Look at my rest days... I didn't take one last week because I wanted to test my max jerk but that ended up not behooving me as I was too fried from the max the day before to put up a solid effort.  However, I will have Monday the 8th and Tuesday the 9th off at work, which aren't "recovery" days but can be days off.  Might take the 10th off too.  I want to make sure I work hard enough going up to a few days off to do some real recovery, but I also don't want to blow myself out when I am teetering this line of stress and fatigue.
4) Back squat 200#.  This is ridiculous.  Just do it.

I'm going kicking and screaming back in to the homework cave.  Tomorrow is max clean testing again, which I've tanked at this month soooooooooooo I'll just take it as it comes.

13.3

I went to Misha's this morning for the first time.  Delicious.  And they have coconut milk.  I might go back and get some beans that I could use in my Keurig, but I'd need the reusable filter for that -- and I'm really, really trying to cut back on coffee, which I'm actually doing pretty well on.  It might make for a nice weekend routine, though.

I really went there with the intent of doing homework -- however, after securing my medium Route 66, I couldn't find a table.  So I did the reasonable thing and went to Crossfit.

I hemmed and hawed over retesting my 13.3.  My reasons for not wanting to involved: my lack of conditioning with wallballs (in fact, the last time I did wallballs was on New Year's Eve); and overriding, the reason that I haven't done wallballs - the wrist I injured during CAL that still isn't 100% and unhappy with impact.  But historically (historically being "the last 2 weeks") I have added reps on my second go-around, and more importantly, I was overly unhappy with my performance.

The gym for me isn't a place to get emotional.  It's a place where I can check everything that has been bothering me at the door and pour my energy in to the workout.  Sure, I get sentimental about the experience of Crossfit as a whole, but that's not where my mind is when I'm picking up the bar.  So it's really unsettling for me for a workout to get to me as much as 13.3 did.  I feel like it highlights everything I haven't accomplished.  Which I mean is kind of the point, these workouts are designed to expose our weaknesses. 

I'm used to pain, I'm used to fighting, I'm used to being uncomfortable.  I don't mind a workout freaking me out a little bit, and I think a few pre-competition panic tears can be healthy.  But I just can't let go the fact that I sucked so bad at this.  And yeah I added 10 reps today to Thursday's score, but in the end it's still pathetic.  I was crying WHILE I was doing wallballs today -- not just collapsing on the ground beating myself up after (which I did Thursday).  I let myself down.  Again.

It's over and I don't get another chance at this.  Ultimately it's a diagnostic.  Ultimately I'll come back to it.  Ultimately I messed up my wrist again and it's probably back down in the 80% range instead of the 95% I was pushing.  And ultimately I am still pissed and hell AND still have to do my homework.

Pre-SAS clean eating day-whatever-this-is side note: last night I went to Chipotle with a small handful of people after the WOD, and I didn't finish my burrito bowl.  The longer I eat paleo, the more I notice that I'm not just mindlessly putting away compliant food.  I am actually getting full and being able to listen to my body.  Go leptin.

Day 4? Lessons from Crossfit. Mobility. Etc.

My one-year Crossfit Anniversary
Today.

Crossfit is one of those things that came in to my life exactly when I needed it.  It was serendipitous, and through all the pain, sweat, tears, and blood, it has been lovely.  I wouldn't ask for it any other way.  Maybe I'll wax poetic about this a little more later on.
The Mobility Seminar
I promised my teammate Cynthia a blog on this and it hasn't happened yet.  I keep forgetting my notebook places and having to do stupid adult things like find my floor and clean the sink.  For now, we'll suffice it to say:

• After my 13.2 retest, I literally could not lay on the ground and raise my legs.
• 15-20 minutes of mobility a day, every day.  I'm a full-time communications specialist, half-time student, Crossfitter, Paleo afficianado, and part-time social media ninja, so I know it can be hard to fit this in.  But just do it.
• Foam rolling is useless :-( (lacrosse balls are more portable, anyway, but I have a feeling that piece of PVC will be my BFF after 13.3)
• I'm enamored with the VooDoo band.  I've been trying to do it at least twice a day on my ankle -- which I have been having issues with for, oh, 15 years.  And other body parts.  It hurts and then it feels good.  Bizarre.
• Prioritize the spine.  Protect your back first and foremost.  It was really hard listening to talk about how central nervous system injury sucks and will mess you up while I was shifting around in my chair after seriously messing up my back during fast, light deadlifts.  Midline stability > everything else.

I'm also playing with pistols now.  I think it's more mobility in my ankles than I realized than strength -- I have fine mobility through a regular squat because I have awesome hip flexors (according to my massage therapist).

I'll touch back on this more.  But if you have the opportunity to go to this seminar, you should.  And also sit in the front row, it's more fun that way :)

Day 4 (/21)
New favorite breakfast: scramble some eggs in Southwest Ranch Tessemae's, throw on a mix of baby spinach and arugula, top with guacamole.  I've done eggs to death but they're do-able this way.

I'm eating less fat but I find this means I'm snacking more.  I guess it's a trade-off.  I'm going for a pedicure on my lunch and going to hit up Sweet Green afterwards.

Day 1. Again.

Welcome to Day 1. 

Some carrots, mushrooms, and 2 boneless chicken thighs I baked in paprika and lemon Tessemae's for breakfast.  Another one of the goals I've been working on is to drastically reduce my caffeine consumption, so though I want/need it this morning, I limited myself to a half black/half passion grande iced tea from Starbucks.  No food pictures.  Ever, preferably.

Well, maybe if I make soup...

This again...?

I just got back from getting ice cream -- well, frozen custard -- with Christina at the Dairy Godmother in Del Ray.  This is at least the 4th time in the last 8 days that I've consumed some form of overly sugared-up dessert product.  And holy shit, am I feeling it.  I have a slight persistent headache, I don't sleep well, I am TIRED, I'm bloated, I'm not recovering as fast, my joints don't feel good... overall I just don't.  feel.  good.

Since my Whole60 ended last Saturday, I have done incredibly rude things to my body while still demanding excellence of performance out of it.  I asked for performance both mentally: Level 1 (which I passed) and Mobility and Movement certification in 8 days with 5 days of day job in the middle, and physically: hello, 13.2 on Thursday and Friday, and I got it, but as I sit in my couch in lulu, I have nothing left to give.  This is, for the record, NOT the way you are supposed to come off a nutrition program.  I didn't need to do the tenative, gentle off-ramping because I did that last time and know how foods effect me.  But I went a little nuts because I knew that come Monday (aka, tomorrow) I would be going back on a strict eating challenge with another small group from my gym.

My participation came with a caveat that I'm going to refer to as both an experiment and exercise for me.  I will be eating clean from March 18 until the evening of April 7.  From there, I will proceed to take a stab at gluten-free eating while I spend 3 full days living, sleeping, breathing a work conference in National Harbor.  When I am able to pack up my car at the end of the show on April 10 and drive back in to Virginia, I will be back to compliance for the last 8 days.  I think this is going to be really good for me, actually: to be realistic with my expectations for those 3 days at the Gaylord, buffered by 3 weeks of compliant eating before and a guaranteed week after.

Speaking of realistic expectations, I have two frameworks going in to this next stretch of clean eating.

1. Consistently max it out in the gym.  This means doing everything I can to support optimum performance when I am in the box, including sleep, days off, pre- and post-workout nutrition (and supplementation).  I am going to add in two days a week of running in preparation for a 5k I am doing in May, so I need to figure out how to cycle that in as well.
2. Portion control.  I have spent the last 4 months eating clean but without a lot of regard for portions -- half a chicken and two avocados?  SOUNDS GOOD!  I am going to use the Whole30 meal template as a start -- palm size portion of protein and dialing back on my fat consumption.  It is my plan to do this for the first week, and then reevaluate my hunger levels and see if I need to adjust from there.  Eating compliant food in non-compliant portions was only going to work for so long, unfortunately, and I am not quite halfway to my body composition goals.

As a personal challenge, I would like to try experimenting with at least one, hopefully two, new recipes every week.  It is easy to get complacent in the kitchen (or in the Good Stuff/Chipotle lines), but I know there is more delicious paleo food out there.  I'm thinking about trying to make a clean kung pao chicken.  I'm hoping to blog my kitchen adventures, but only the good ones, not every bite that goes in to my mouth.  This is about making this lifestyle fun and sustainable, not falling face-first in to a box of Samoas.

I've toyed with leaving the scale in the closet this month too.  Jury is still out on that one, and the scale is still chillin' with the Samoas.  In the closet.

Pre-program investment.  Doing the things that allow you to change your life can be freaking scary.  Do them anyway.

"This or That"

Cheese: cool.

Ice cream: boo. (This is nothing I didn't know)

Pink berry fro yo: fine.

Fireworks gluten-free pizza: thumbs down.

Sigh. The intolerance to the gluten-free crust is new. It makes me very hesitant to even try gluten.

Gluten: I've had pie crust with gluten in it (it was delicious) but my right arm/shoulder pain flared up within an hour. I've had joint pain from gluten before - yeah, this stuff is nasty.

The pie and ice cream made me sleepy and grossly full, but nothing adverse otherwise. I'm ok - but I'm not *happy*. Right now feels much more lie survival than thriving.

Still tapering down the caffiene as well in prep for next week (and sea air space). I want and need consistent energy levels without chemicals. This has me knocked on my ass as well. One cup a day. A second cup in the afternoon on days I train twice.

Five things everybody can take from an L1

"What did you do this weekend?" My coworker asked as I was waiting for my much-needed coffee at Dunkin Donuts this morning.  (I'm trying to cut back.  Really.  Says she who slammed a large iced coffee both days this weekend.)

Anyway, I kind of laughed.

"I was in Reston all day Saturday and Sunday in training for this Crossfit certification."

True life, I spent about 16 hours this weekend learning, listening, laughing, and yes, working out, with ~60 other athletes (and potential Crossfit trainers).  Two of them were friends from the gym, which made the experience more fun and engaging, and last from the moment we set out in the morning to when we pulled back in to the CFSA parking lot at 6 p.m.  I lost "my weekend", but I gained a whole lot more.

Highlights of the weekend included Mike G, who was the "head" of our seminar and de facto emcee, psyching everybody out about doing Fran at 9 am on the first day; actually doing Fran on the first day with 40 other athletes cheering you on (PR!); watching our seminar staff do 13.1; the monk running by (twice) while we were practicing snatch technique with PVC; and playing with the muscle-up progression (and learning you do not have to be close to having a muscle-up to do this).

This experience will undoubtedly have dramatic, lasting effects on my performance as an athlete, competitor, and as a member of the CFSA community.  Pretty sure once you start developing a coach's eye you can't turn that off.  That said, it's not on every athlete's agenda to go for a Level 1 -- and I wanted to draw out and share a few points that everybody can learn from.

1) The very basic breakdown of what we do: Crossfit: constantly varied functional movement executed at a high intensity. 
I'm going to throw some words from my notes at you.  The movement we do is inherently safe because it is functional movement -- essential movement.  When you can't do things like squat or lift something overhead any more, you lose the ability to move independently.  Everybody can do Crossfit because it is based on the way we move and the things we need to do in every day life.

That said, just because it's inherently natural and safe does not mean that you don't need to BE safe -- a child bending down to pick up a toy off the ground is a natural movement; me throwing an additional 200 pounds on my shoulders then lowering myself to the ground requires a lot more thought and (developed) strength.  It improves those functional movements -- it makes me a better human -- but functional movements will not be safe if you're an idiot about them.  Educate yourself, listen to your trainer, train (and practice), and don't do stupid shit.  It'll be great.

2) PVC work is hard, and you can never do enough of it.
I've been Crossfitting for about a year, so you wouldn't think I would need any help on a freaking air squat, right?  Pretty sure I did those doing some Jillian Michaels workout DVD in high school.  I can bust those things out all day, my squat can't possibly have any immaturity!  Wrong.  And you hang out in a deadlift position or overhead squat for long enough, even with a PVC pipe, and things start to tingle and twitch and hurt.   More of us intermediate-ish athletes -- not new, not beginners, but not advanced or experienced (yeah, 1 year doesn't count me as "experienced) -- probably need it than we even know.  Don't be complacent.  Be actively working to perfect your movement, on your best lifts alongside your weakest.  It will never, ever hurt you as an athlete to take it back to basics and improve your motor patterns, adjust your positioning, work your range of motion.

3) You will naturally click with some coaches better than others.
All of our trainers were incredibly experienced and talented.  We would break up in to small groups to cover each movement and the progression of the 9 fundamental movements, as well as how to coach them (practicing on each other).  It was interesting to see the different coaching styles at play -- and there were many of them.  My favorite, if I had to pick, was Hollis.  He was a wealth of knowledge, but also had humor about it and knew how to explain and teach concepts clearly.  As an athlete, you will find coaches you do better with than others (CFSA has great coaches, and they all have something to teach you).  Just remember that a coach doesn't need to be that coach you "click" with to be able to learn from them.  But make the time and the effort to work with and reach out to those coaches that you do -- this experience is what you make it.

4) You can't out train your diet.
Training and diet will both move you towards wellness.  However, there is only so far they can take you independently.  I'm a big believer in Whole30, but the seminar talked a lot about Zone.  But you don't have to be paleo or zone to fuel your body properly as an athlete.  Nobody is going to be healthy eating freezer pizza and McDonald's.  Put clean, good stuff in and get results out.


5) Crossfit is, and is supposed to be, fun.
Whether you are laughing together, working out together, making jokes... it is about the Crossfit community.  It's not about seminar staff, it's not about me... it's about you!  Collectively.  CFSA has the best community, don't cheat yourself out of the experience.  I came back from a day of learning and Fran-ing on Saturday night and still took a shower and went out to celebrate Madi's birthday for a little bit.  Yeah, I was finishing a nutrition program and couldn't drink and that may have slightly made me want to punch somebody in the face, but it wasn't about having a bourbon - it was about being with friends.  And that's the greatest.  Share your passion with the people around you.

Bonus: Somebody asked about the switch grip, and this has come up in some CFSA programming guidance as well.  What we were told: don't switch your grip until you are deadlifting a weight that you never want to clean.  I thought that was really interesting.  I can currently pull around 225 on a deadlift, and though that feels insanely heavy to me, I remember that current American record holder for what will be my weight class clean and jerked 282.5.  Just some food for thought.

The Level 1 Course is great -- it really, really is.  A year later, it just reaffirms that Crossfit is what I love and where I am meant to be.  If you can find the means, you should do it.  You won't regret it for a second.  Part of me wonders what a community of athletes where everybody could go through that kind of intensive training and learning experience would be like.  Some would probably just call that initiation ;)

What's more important than going to a Level 1 is to continue to educate yourself.  It is easy to become complacent as an athlete -- my air squat is "pretty good", my front rack is "okay".  There are tons of free resources, or for an incredibly nominal fee ($25, which is probably half of what you spend on coffee on a monthly basis) the Crossfit Journal, that will teach you everything you need to know and more.  Heck, the Level 1 Training Guide is FREE.  Crowd source.  Community source.  There is something to learn around every corner, on every page, from every athlete if you are willing to look for it and ask for it.

3/9

Level 1 breakfast!

Had some sparkling water at the bar.

3/8

3/7

3/6

Was really craving a piece of multigrain toast with my brunch this morning. I think it's nostalgia from snow days when I was younger and my mom would make breakfast, or even college when I had the luxury of making a slow morning breakfast (like I did today). I got over it, but maybe having a little Ezekial bread post program (of course, for me post-program is stretching practically in to May) isn't a bad thing.

Did a little paleo "snow day" project in my spice cabinet. My spice collection grows more robust with every week on whole30 and they were scattered all over the place.

Also, after all this snow day talk: THIS SNOW DAY IS A RIP-OFF. I wanted to walk outside and feel fluffy snow crunch and compress under my feet. It's just raining.

3/5

I broke up with my scale tonight.

Like I actually put that sucker in the closet in the hallway. Uh, next to the Girl Scout cookies.

Then I went in to my room to find something to wear for work tomorrow and decided to try on some pants I had hanging (two sizes smaller than when I started paleo). Those suckers are snug, but they fit!!! Also tried on my jeans from a few summers ago -- not "skinny" jeans but I weighed less then. I also weighed 15 pounds less when I wore them, so, yay body composition.

Eff the scale. On to the next one!!

(Below: my old suit pants and the ones that fit now. I need to go get a new goal pair because I am officially undergrowing my closet)

3/4

Breakfast in PA. No pictures of lunch as it was consumed on the road (jerky, raw veggies, coffee with ze coconut milk) and I'm a safe driver, or at least pretend to be.

It won't be easy.

One of the assignments wrapping up our nutrition program was to write on convincing someone (or swaying them away from) to do a Whole30.  I've had the discussion about good food with a couple of my friends, coworkers, and family members, and sometimes it really burns me up inside.

This is the first thing I have to say, right: if I can do it, anybody can do it.  I am stubborn as hell but that doesn't always translate in to will power.  And I, of all people, haven't touched cheese for 2 months or even fruit for 30 days.  It sounds so ridiculous and restrictive when you hear it from the context of the person with the standard American diet.  It blew my mind because I'd spent 10 years thinking the only was I was going to lose weight was eating fat-free Yoplait with wheat germ and pounding diet coke.

It frustrates me, and it makes me legitimately sad, to see so many people around me struggling with their weight and their health and making really permanent, invasive choices like weight loss surgery when the answer is right here.  It is so powerful, and simultaneously so controversial, that it's scary.  I have eaten more food, and more FAT, than I ever have in my life, and I have never felt so good.  I no longer take any anxiety medication, and I have drastically reduced the dosage on my blood sugar medication.  Actually, as I write this post, I am not taking any. (I also lost 40 pounds)

It is so deceptively easy.  Don't eat any sugar (ANY sugar), grains, dairy, legumes, or alcohol for at least 30 days.  Instead, eat real, good, whole foods. That's it.  You don't even need a book.

If you want to make a powerful change in your life, this is for you.  If you are curious to know how good you could really feel, this is for you.  If you are sick and tired of living life from caffiene hit to sugar fix to glass of wine to stumble out of bed to do it all over again, this is for you.

But this is also not necessarily for you.  I am not talking about people who are ignorant because they don't know better (start here)-- I am talking about people who willfully refuse to take control of their own lives.  If you won't eat healthy food because "you don't like it", this isn't for you.  (Guess what, I don't like paying taxes.)  If you won't take control of your own kitchen, your own pantry, your own grocery store trips -- this isn't for you.  Yeah, it requires a lot of time and it requires work and it will probably require some botched attempts in the kitchen  But don't tell me it's too much time (I did it while working full-time, taking 2 grad school classes, freelancing, and training about 10 hours a week).  Don't tell me it's too expensive.  You will find an excuse around every corner and under every rock if you look for one, and excuses are useless.

I will be your biggest cheerleader, your resource, your rock, but only if you want it.  I can't want it for you -- nobody can want it for you.  Nobody wanted it for me besides me.  No matter how deeply in love I am with my new lifestyle and no matter how desperately I want to share it with you, I cannot make you try and I cannot make you believe if you're not ready to.

This is the only body you will get in your entire life.  If you aren't willing to fight for it, who is?  If you're not willing to try 30 days of something, a drop in the bucket of the scheme of your entire life, what are you willing to try?

No, it's not going to be easy.

It's going to be worth it

The end of an era (or of 60 days)

Me with the pretty boy, circa May 2011

Asking me to write about the Whole30 program is like asking me to write about Crossfit.  It has changed my life in such a profound way that I don't really know how to articulate it without sounding cheesy as all get-up.

Yes, the Whole30 (not just the CFSA rendition) has changed my perception of food.  It has changed my relationship with food.  Food can be fuel -- most of the time it is fuel -- but it can also be delicious.  No, the 20 chocolate chip cookies I pounded while watching a pay-per-view movie with my golden retriever over Christmas weren't amazingly delicious, but whatever, we all mess up.  I use food as something to enjoy, something to relieve stress (if I didn't have to do dishes afterwards, cooking would be a leisure activity), something to propel my body to a higher performance level, a way to nourish friendships.  It's no longer something I have to hate myself for as I mindlessly eat a pound of pasta at midnight.

But I think to an extent, you have to have the right mindset going in to this program.  If you're completely NOT SOLD going in, I don't think it's going to do it for you.  If you're healthily skeptical or looking for an answer though, maybe it is.  I found what I was looking for.

So, yeah, the program went well for me.  I lost about 20 pounds, I didn't keep track exactly, so I'm around 40 total. I know sometimes it sucks to not eat chocolate, but as much as I bitch, you know what sucks more? Having to take medication to control your blood sugar. I'm proud to be off mine. I say this so hesitantly because I've only been doing it for 2 weeks, but I feel good and for the first time in over 5 years I can say I'm living a life free from medication, that I'm controlling with diet and exercise. It's not always fun and it's not always easy, but it is damn satisfying. I set a goal when I stepped out on this program, and however hesitantly, however fearfully, in defiance of everything I've been told about it... I achieved it.

Me, recently, 38 pounds down.

This is my largest take-away, though.  I was texting one of my friends about the fact that I'm going to do another Whole30 after a few days off (yeah....) and she said, simply, "I wish I had a support group like that around here".  Yes, we have a little Facebook group for my online friends doing it, but is it the same?  How could that be the same as standing, lifting, sweating, eating, day-by-day, the same people who are doing the same thing as you?  I didn't have to fight against going out to bars and drinking sparkling water while everybody else was wasted because I have this awesome group of people who considers getting four burger patties with bacon down the road from the gym on a Friday night a good time.  Having companions is such a huge part of what makes it less suffering, more experiment.  No, it's not always pleasant.  But it's less bad when you have others to commiserate with. So thank you, CFSA Nutrition Program friends, for sharing the journey. And I look forward to continuing it!

Also, feedback: I like the length. I mean, I resent it, but it's necessary. I've done a Whole30 by myself and most of us, even those who were eating 70/30 paleo beforehand, need the time to uneff our bodies. 30 days seems almost to me like a wasted amount of time if you give up at that point.

The plan, post CFSA Nutrition Program: I am going to bake myself an apple whiskey pie (it will probably have a gluten-free crust).  I am also going to go out to a nice "real person" dinner with my roommate.  And then I will be back on the program.  I don't have another choice, really.  My health demands it of me.  I have goals I want to hit and this the quickest, most effective way to get there.  Part of me is curious to try McDonalds... and a bigger part of me knows better. I'd rather cook up a big dinner to enjoy with my roommate, maybe not "complaint" food but real food that has effort and care in it.

Also, I plan to eat within Whole9 guidelines, but I also plan to start supplementing post-workout with a protein powder. The great thing about this 60 days of clean eating is that I have a blank slate, a baseline, to introduce this supplement in to. If I keep everything else the same and only manipulate one variable, I can find out the value of an added supplement. And when you're spending money on high-quality supplements, being able to identify the benefit is, to me, incredibly important.
 

3/3

3/2

3/1

Wow, March already!?  Didn't sleep well last night (I think it was workout out late and eating late that threw me off) so I went to the early morning workout.  Might as well if I'm not going to sleep right?  Plus even with the pre-sunrise wakeups, I have a good amount of energy within a few minutes of getting going.

"Nancy" (rowing for me, the cripple)
5 rounds
400 m row
15 OHS

Came in at just under 20 minutes -- something like 19:45, but I started later than the rest of the class until we wrangled an erg.

Comments on this WOD: I tried to just be smooth and long on the row, not doing my usual mental coaching of "power 10"/5 off etc. because I knew it was going to burn out my legs, and OHS are challenging enough.  As a result I was somewhat slow -- I kept my eye on the clock and knew each round had to be 4 minutes to be finished in time.

I did the OHS at 65#, and only missed one rep.  Also had one failure to heave the bar overhead, but, I got it.  I worry about being about to get it up from behind my neck when the weight gets much heavier, though, without a jerk.  Very happy with my OHS performance though, most rounds I got 8-9/6-7 - didn't do any unbroken though I probably could have the first round.  It's weird to remember that just because you are starting to shake, doesn't mean you are going to fail.

Also I am terribly proud of Cynthia, my teammate for Superfit DC and another awesome nutrition program person and friend, who got through the workout at the same weight I did!  I was seriously impressed.  Two strongest ladies in the class, thanks.

Saved a little Chipotle last night for a pre-morning-WOD snack.  This was a bad idea.  Chipotle is not a pre-WOD stnack.

I love color and texture in salad.  It's really the most awesome part of eating a bowl of raw veggies.  Today I had 1/2 an avocado, chicken breast (with the dregs of a bottle of tessemae's ranch), beets, hearts of palm, asparagus, radishes (tastes like spring!!), shredded carrots, tomatos, spring mix, and spinach.  Love love love.  Sad that there wasn't any fennel or arugula in the salad bar today though.

2/28

Obviously didn't eat the buffet. Just a typical DC breakfast meeting.

2/27

2/26