There is a line, a fine line, between doing Crossfit and identifying with Crossfit -- seeing yourself as a "Crossfitter". There is a buy-in, it is a lifestyle, and from my perspective people eventually either buy-in or drop out.
Those of you who know me, know I'm a hobby photog. I love capturing moments. But you can't always live life behind the lens -- you have step out from behind it, and experience it, in all of its amazing and painful realness.
Three Stages
For the first seven months I belonged to CFSA, I showed up. I got stronger, I got better, and I saw some minor body composition changes. While I've never considered dropping out, there was a turning point in my Crossfit "career" where it was keep "showing up" or fight for purchase and GO. I'd toyed with Whole30 but hadn't done much more than eat Power Supply -- I knew it was something that worked for me, but I'd say I was 60% paleo at that point and I promise you the majority of the magic is in that last little bit of tightness in your diet. I would go a day or two of Whole30 then quit -- er, um, reschedule.
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| August 2012. Me on the far right. Little did I know. |
I'm really lucky to do some work for my gym. It lets me bring my skills and passion in my specialty area -- social media -- to an outlet outside of sitting at my desk 8 hours a day. It also gives me an excuse to keep showing up, and it was a reason to stay honest through the times that I didn't necessarily want to go. I was at the gym on a day off from work planning a film project when I mentioned to the coach I was working with that I was considering doing a Whole30 before I left for my vacation to San Juan, which was about 5 weeks away. He just shrugged and said, "Why not do a Whole33?" And I was like okay, why not? And I did.
Things changed for me at that point in a way that looking back, I couldn't have even imagined. My body responded well to paleo, the change in my face, pants, and complexion was quickly evident, and I had the energy to support the kind of workouts I always wanted to do. I finished up the 6 week rowing class I'd started and headed back to the box with a vengeance, working out 3-5 days a week and doing Olympic Lifting training twice a week. I lost 18 pounds on my Whole30 (ate, and as a result felt, like crap while in Puerto Rico) and added a total of 140 pounds to the 10 lifts I tested during CFT and max testing week.
Right before I left for San Juan was when I ended up on the CFSA CAL team. I'm still not really sure how this happened, but I am incredibly grateful for it because it forced yet another fundamental change in me: I wasn't just an athlete now, I was a competitor, and HOLY SHIT.
Yeah, I would have continued to grow as an athlete if I hadn't done this. I know I would have. But I had a bigger fire under me now to figure shit out, to get back to my clean eating post-holiday cookies, and to keep getting there.
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| This sucked more than it should have. |
I don't look at things the same way any more. When you stand at the bar, heart literally in your throat and shaking from adrenaline and nerves, and you hit it -- you can tap in to that feeling during a WOD. You can say to yourself, damn, I hit 20 125# deadlifts unbroken during competition a few weeks ago -- I can do this one RX'd at 155#. I've also been surrounded for the last 2 months by competitors -- friends and teammates -- who hold me to a higher standard and scream at me when my brain shuts off during a heavy heat. You get better because you want to be better, but there is an entirely different drive and emotion attached to getting better because you don't want to let your team down. In that moment, you know you have to be the best you can be.
And that's where I am today. I'm better than I was, but I'm not as good as I will be. At CAL finals I was frustratingly limited by my lack of pull-ups and mental block on rope climbs. But I'll do what I can and know I'm still getting better every day.
Three Things You Need
1) Good people around you. Crossfit makes this easy. You get accountability, motivation, support, friends all at once. And it travels with you -- I've been to 4 other gyms and they've all been awesome. I have a "home gym" for when I'm in PA. I grew so much as an athlete and as a person training with the CFSA community and particularly the CAL teams.
2) Good coaches. CFSA has the best coaches. And I'm not just saying that because I get to work with them. You need to have a relationship with your coaches -- or at least one coach -- who knows your strengths and your limits. They also need to know your comfort zone -- and when to shove you, heels dug in, outside of it, whether it's for your max overhead squat or talking you in to competing.
3) Yourself. You need to find the fire somewhere to start -- the things above are just fuel. If you don't believe it, really believe it, nobody can do it for you. They can't want it for you. They won't make sure you show up at the box if you don't want to. You have to dig deep and find that place to start from. Get there. Get started. Everything else will keep you going. Everything else is just bonus points.
Three Things I Need
Setting some new skill work goals for this summer, if I want to keep competing:
1) Pull-ups (I had a dream about kipping the other night, so they can't be that far off, right?)
2) Rope climbs
3) HSPUs
5) stringing my double-unders together
I'm not the same person I was this time last year. I've already plowed through many of the goals I set (and missed a few others). By the time I hit my one-year "Crossfitaversary", I will hopefully have lost 50 pounds (lofty goals, right? 12 to go.). I will have my Level 1 and be a certified mobility coach (don't ask me what I want to do with these yet, because I don't know). I'm drinking a gallon of water at my desk, I daydream about dried fruit, I love my thighs because they can help me stand up 400 pounds (um... almost) and I mentally reference "my paleo kitchen". I moved here on anxiety and blood sugar medication, and through a clean, truly healthy diet and lots of quality exercise I have controlled both free of prescriptions. I feel more at home in NoVa than I ever have anywhere in my life, and I have the support of my friends far and the community of my friends near.
This is my bottom line, right: I want to help other people change their lives, but I have to change my own first. I think I've got a good momentum going there. I have had incredibly kind things said to me by people I respect about how I'm inspiring. I'm just a girl doing what she does. This is the truth, CFSA: you all inspire me!
Here's to really lofty goals and the drive to reach for them.
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